Monday, June 6, 2011

"Mommy"

I've been called "Mommy" a handful of times in my lifetime.  Over the years of teaching school it would come out of a students mouth when they needed something or wanted to show me something and then they would get a funny look on their face when they realized what they had said.  My nieces and nephews have also called me mom a time or 2 and when the Leid kiddos were living here I was addressed as "Mommy" every now and then before they realized it!  It was always "by mistake".

Yesterday (Tuesday), Brad and I picked up the most adorable little girl and boy and now, I get called "Mommy" countless times a day.  I have even started addressing myself as that.  We have entered the world of foster parenting.  We are hoping to adopt these dear little children sometime in the future.  As of now it looks very hopeful that "A" will become our daughter someday. 

Yesterday as we ripped her from the arms of her present foster mother my heart was breaking.  Her cries of terror and anger were almost more than I could handle.  I just wanted to gather her into my arms and hug her cares away.  At the time, I was the "bad guy" taking her away from her Mommy.  Finally, her foster mom left and it was us and the caseworkers.   She was still sobbing, heartbroken, while her brother sat quietly in his car seat waiting on his next adventure.  I wonder what was going through his little mind.  He had just had an hour visit with his birth father and now was leaving the home he had known for the last 6 months and now was headed to be in the care of some strangers.  He just sat there quietly, not saying a word, with Brad and waited on the rest of us.

Pretty soon we seen that things were not going to get any better and we should just try leaving.  The caseworker put her into her car seat and strapped her in, as she was kicking and screaming the whole time.  I sat in the front seat quietly crying while Brad held my hand.  As soon as we left the driveway, her sobs quieted and the rest of the way home she just did the whole sighing sobbing thing.  It was almost as if she was just resigned to her fate. 

We didn't say too much on the 20 minute ride home and when we got here they were busy running around exploring everything.  The home they came from sent a few tubs of clothing and toys along and I put stuff away and got organized while Brad played with the kids. Most of the day "A" asked "Where my Mommy", and I would tell her that she's going to live here now.  She didn't say anything but would just go on playing.  I wonder what was going through her mind.
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Wow...shows how busy my life really is!  The above was typed and ready to go but I wanted to go over it some more before I posted it.  Now, it's Monday.  Tomorrow it will be a week since these kiddos have joined our home!  Gone are my days of surfing the web, sleeping in, staying up late etc!  These guys sure keep me busy.  They get up around 6 or 6:30 every morning, so I have been getting to bed early so I can function in the morning!  Yesterday was Sunday and as soon as we put the kids down for naps, Brad sent me to bed as well.  They only slept around an hour and a half but he didn't let them wake me until I had been sleeping for 2 1/2 hours.  I so needed that long nap.  It seemed like the whole week just caught up with me.

Brad has been the most amazing daddy.  He does so well with them.  "Mommy, where Daddy" is a phrase I hear a couple of times a day.  After the weekend we had with them getting all kinds of daddy's attention, I know I'll hear it countless times again today!  It seems the children are adjusting well and we are loving them so much and they bring so much joy to our home.  Yes, there are things that I miss about life a week ago, but I sure wouldn't trade it!  I have been snapping pics of them left and right and so wish I could show you all, but the law forbids us from putting any kids of pics of them on the web.  You'll just have to meet them in person to see how cute they really are!

Well, I'm off to start my day!  Pretty soon I'll hear little feet coming down the hall and someone will want some snuggle time.  I think that's my favorite time of the day...when they wake up in the morning or from naps and want to snuggle.  Or maybe it's when we're tucking them in and they each want a hug and a kiss, or maybe it's at supper when all they want to do is chatter, or maybe it's at family time when we teach them new songs and their little voices just sing, or maybe it's when they're playing and all of a sudden "J" will say..."I love you Mommy". 

It's so weird how in an instant I became a "Mommy".  The one whom these children look to for love and help and everything else.  They are so dependent on me. The other times that I was called "Mommy" was a "mistake" and never really intentional, but now I really am a Mommy and I am loving it!

4 comments:

  1. I remember crying all the way home from the agency when we picked up Zachary...and again after our first court hearing. So hard, so much emotion, so much sadness. But wonderful too...I found foster care very bittersweet. Sweet that we could love on these kids, bitter that there was a need for us....

    Thinking of you as everyone continues to adjust.

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  2. beautiful post!! i hate it that i cant see pictures of them cuz pretty sure i wont get to meet them in person!! i wanna be able to picture the 2 kids, that i have a feeling, ill hear a lot of on here. ;) i hope all goes well as yall find the new normal for your home! you will be such a good mommy!!Esther

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  3. Karen said it best, "foster care is bittersweet." Been thinking of you and praying for you. Love you!

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  4. Rebecca Smucker ZimmermanJune 6, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    So happy for you! God is def using the best to meet this need in their lives. Blessings and much grace.... {PS sleep is overated} ;)

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