Meltdowns and Garden Sheds

Oh my, people...how my life has changed!  I wish I had time to blog about my days every day.  Truth is, I rarely get on facebook more than once a day now.  Gone are the days of sleeping in, surfing the web, playing swag buck games, reading blogs, taking a nap, watching a movie, meeting my friends for lunch/coffee,  relaxing by the pool and the list goes on.  Sure, I watch movies...only now it's Thomas and Dora!  Relaxing by the pool...doesn't really happen because a certain little lady would dive right in if I didn't keep an eye on her.  Sleeping in...that's getting better, the 6:00 wake up time has stretched to about 7:30.  I set my alarm for 7 and try and get in some Bible Reading and Prayer before little ones join me. 

I'm not complaining though.  These children have become such a blessing to Brad and I.  We really do have it made.  Because they were in another foster home before coming to our home, I know that alot of work went into helping them.  In conversations with their previous foster mother who tells me they spoke only Spanish, ate with their hands, and were "wild", I know we are blessed.  They are very polite, eat well, play together nicely and go to bed without a fuss (most times)!

Sure I've had an occassional meltdown or 2 and spent an evening or 2 crying in my room after Brad gets home.  Just keepin' it real people.  My dear patient husband has been so understanding and is so so supportive.  Saturdays, he keeps the kids entertained while I sleep in and then doesn't mind if they follow him around all day asking him all kinds of questions, while I get my cleaning done and just bask in the silence!  I think that has been one of the biggest adjustments again.  The constant chattering, noisy playing, music going, lots of "Why" and if an answer doesn't satisfy.."But Mom...WHY?"  To say that one of my favorite times of the day is naptime is an understatement.  That's when I should be napping, but like to catch up on reading blogs, facebook and get some work done and just be quiet! 

I've learned a few things in the past few weeks.  If I set aside about an hour in the morning to play games, read books etc. they entertain themselves well the rest of the morning.  Sure there are other things I would rather be doing, and feel like I need to get done, but that hour fills up their love tank for a while.  I also feel like we are finally in a routine.  The bed doesn't have to be made perfectly, the table doesn't have to be set exactly, the washcloths don't have to be in a perfect square, the fact that they love to help and are showing responsibility is worth it!

We've done all kinds of fun things the past few weeks and I wish so so bad I could share pictures with you all.  I think that is one of the reasons I don't blog that much anymore.  I am such a picture person and love to write about all we did.  Maybe I can fnd a way to be able to do both.  The agency we are with stressed over and over again that we may not put pics of any kind on the web.  We've done things like Oregon Dairy Farm Days, seeing Thomas, pool parties, weekly library trips, campfires, days at the park, etc. 

The children have adjusted well and are fitting in so good with our church family and extended families.  This week we had Bible School and the children were so excited to go every night.  I was at a different location teaching the older girls and Brad was busy running sound, but the children had no problem finding their friends and doing ok without Mommy and Daddy nearby.

So now it's Friday and then the weekend.  Weekends are so looked forward to now for sure because Brad is here to help out and give me a break.  We are looking forward to family night tonight and a party with friends here tomorrow night!

The past few weeks, Brad spent hours building a garden shed from our barnwood.  It looks even better than I pictured in my head!  I've got a bunch of perennials waiting to get planted around it this weekend.  So thankful to have a hubby who enjoys making all kinds of stuff that his wife dreams up!

Later....

"Mommy"

I've been called "Mommy" a handful of times in my lifetime.  Over the years of teaching school it would come out of a students mouth when they needed something or wanted to show me something and then they would get a funny look on their face when they realized what they had said.  My nieces and nephews have also called me mom a time or 2 and when the Leid kiddos were living here I was addressed as "Mommy" every now and then before they realized it!  It was always "by mistake".

Yesterday (Tuesday), Brad and I picked up the most adorable little girl and boy and now, I get called "Mommy" countless times a day.  I have even started addressing myself as that.  We have entered the world of foster parenting.  We are hoping to adopt these dear little children sometime in the future.  As of now it looks very hopeful that "A" will become our daughter someday. 

Yesterday as we ripped her from the arms of her present foster mother my heart was breaking.  Her cries of terror and anger were almost more than I could handle.  I just wanted to gather her into my arms and hug her cares away.  At the time, I was the "bad guy" taking her away from her Mommy.  Finally, her foster mom left and it was us and the caseworkers.   She was still sobbing, heartbroken, while her brother sat quietly in his car seat waiting on his next adventure.  I wonder what was going through his little mind.  He had just had an hour visit with his birth father and now was leaving the home he had known for the last 6 months and now was headed to be in the care of some strangers.  He just sat there quietly, not saying a word, with Brad and waited on the rest of us.

Pretty soon we seen that things were not going to get any better and we should just try leaving.  The caseworker put her into her car seat and strapped her in, as she was kicking and screaming the whole time.  I sat in the front seat quietly crying while Brad held my hand.  As soon as we left the driveway, her sobs quieted and the rest of the way home she just did the whole sighing sobbing thing.  It was almost as if she was just resigned to her fate. 

We didn't say too much on the 20 minute ride home and when we got here they were busy running around exploring everything.  The home they came from sent a few tubs of clothing and toys along and I put stuff away and got organized while Brad played with the kids. Most of the day "A" asked "Where my Mommy", and I would tell her that she's going to live here now.  She didn't say anything but would just go on playing.  I wonder what was going through her mind.

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Wow...shows how busy my life really is!  The above was typed and ready to go but I wanted to go over it some more before I posted it.  Now, it's Monday.  Tomorrow it will be a week since these kiddos have joined our home!  Gone are my days of surfing the web, sleeping in, staying up late etc!  These guys sure keep me busy.  They get up around 6 or 6:30 every morning, so I have been getting to bed early so I can function in the morning!  Yesterday was Sunday and as soon as we put the kids down for naps, Brad sent me to bed as well.  They only slept around an hour and a half but he didn't let them wake me until I had been sleeping for 2 1/2 hours.  I so needed that long nap.  It seemed like the whole week just caught up with me.

Brad has been the most amazing daddy.  He does so well with them.  "Mommy, where Daddy" is a phrase I hear a couple of times a day.  After the weekend we had with them getting all kinds of daddy's attention, I know I'll hear it countless times again today!  It seems the children are adjusting well and we are loving them so much and they bring so much joy to our home.  Yes, there are things that I miss about life a week ago, but I sure wouldn't trade it!  I have been snapping pics of them left and right and so wish I could show you all, but the law forbids us from putting any kids of pics of them on the web.  You'll just have to meet them in person to see how cute they really are!

Well, I'm off to start my day!  Pretty soon I'll hear little feet coming down the hall and someone will want some snuggle time.  I think that's my favorite time of the day...when they wake up in the morning or from naps and want to snuggle.  Or maybe it's when we're tucking them in and they each want a hug and a kiss, or maybe it's at supper when all they want to do is chatter, or maybe it's at family time when we teach them new songs and their little voices just sing, or maybe it's when they're playing and all of a sudden "J" will say..."I love you Mommy". 

It's so weird how in an instant I became a "Mommy".  The one whom these children look to for love and help and everything else.  They are so dependent on me. The other times that I was called "Mommy" was a "mistake" and never really intentional, but now I really am a Mommy and I am loving it!